Charlie Sheen is an Undead Wizard

I love basing the personalities of my NPCs (Non-Player Characters) and BBEGs (Big Bad End Guys) on characters from movies, books, TV or from actual people in the news. Its a lot easier when drafting an NPC to write down: "Yosemite Sam", or "Samuel L. Jackson" or "Sam Kinnison" (or any other Sam) as a prompt for how to play that character in game than it is to write out a full description of his/her/its mannerisms.

In the wake of the now internetfamous Charlie Sheen interviews, I started thinking about which crazy celebrities would fit well as the personalities for different D&D monsters. I feel like celebrities spend so much time building up a public persona that they end up adopting archetypal characteristics like those found in stories. Then, when they break down or go off the deep end, they often seem to behave like some sort of dastardly arch-villain. They have a motivation, which they believe to be perfectly reasonable, but which appears frightening, crazy or deranged to the rest of us. After all, the most believable villains are those who think they are heroes.

So, with my new crackpot theory in hand, I took to the interwebs and launched a discussion on the boards over at Obsidian Portal. 

Here are some of the ideas I came up with:

• Charlie Sheen – I think his burned out voice and raving about giving people magic and having tiger blood in his veins would be ideal for a Lich (undead wizard).
• Oprah – She seems like she would be good as some sort of dragon, acting magnanimous but in a way that adds to her prestige and ultimately benefits her own horde.
• Sean Penn – An ogre druid who was once in a torrid love affair with a nymph. He loves the planet, but always scowls and if you piss him off, he’ll smash your face.
• Tom Cruise – Dragon with a captive princess. He is a major player in a bizarre cult and will ruthlessly quash anyone who interferes with their business or reveals their secrets.

And here are some of the ideas others added to the pot.

From Portalier, Libranchylde:

• Lindsy Lohan - a halfling klepto with a drug problem. She even has the Kender spoon of “Cooking”, given to her by her Uncle Smackslinger.

From Portalier, Poutine_Paladin

• Paris Hilton - A succubus & wealthy heiress to a huge fortune/kingdom who thinks/acts as if her fame is due to some actual talent/skill, but in actuality...it's only that the commoners want to bed her.
• Miley Cyrus - The unfortunate result of a bard who was in good with the public for a few months many years back mating with one of the fairy folk. She now uses her fey music to lure children into the woods to their doom. Adults, however are immune to her musical pull.
• Avril Lavigne - A doppleganger/shapeshifter that takes on whatever persona will achieve her goals according to the whims of the general populous.